Lies and Waffles

I feel horrible. The going got tough and I told a bold-faced lie. I had even planned to lie if I got caught between the proverbial rock and a hard place. But, I had to do it or I would regret it for the rest of my life. Or at least the next 3-7 years.

After thoroughly cleaning (I promise) the canister, the filters, the brush and every other component, I packed up the big blue vacuum and took it back to the store. While standing in the customer service line with my big box, I read the return and exchange rules and I panicked. It clearly stated that they would return or exchange unopened or unused items only. When asked if the box was opened, I said with a blank expression, "No." However behind that blank stare I was making a list of what I should pack for Hell, because karma is a funny thing. In my defense, I had done a nice job repacking the box and taping it, so at the time when asked, I was telling the truth. No, the box was not opened. Currently. Anyway, I took it back for my full refund and I'm going to buy a Dyson vacuum in the next week or so when I get a chance. Too many good reviews from friends not to. Forgive me, for I have sinned. I bought a few other things as not to feel so bad, however I waited to hear my name over the intercom the entire time. "Would the lady who returned the vacuum and lied about using it prior, return to customer service. We have towed your card and sold your Visa number."

I wonder how many 'bad' people get caught by blogging too much about the details?

Moving on...

Sean and I saw what we think is one of the Top 10 worst movies we've ever seen. We extremely disliked "Running with Scissors" so much in fact that we were hoping after the first hour (which at this point was when we realized that the movie was bad and it was too late to go into another theater) that everyone would just fall on their scissors.
I always like to state the positives and the negatives, however I don't have anything positive to say and just too many negatives to write. Take it from me, the frugal one, save your money on this one.

I went to Safeway today and had a strange experience. I like to select my groceries and get through the line as quick as possible. For one, I don't like being there and I want to get home. The second reason that efficiency is important, is that I have frozen items that need to be put in their proper place. I was third in line and was catching bits and pieces of conversation between the cashier and customer. The cashier was quite the chatty character and the line was moving very slow. I don't mind if cashiers want to exchange pleasantries, but if you can't scan the items and talk at the same time, I'm not to pleased.

It's my turn to check out. Oo rah. By this time I've learned that it's "Let's call him Stan"s first day. He is pleasant, says hello, asks me how I am. Then he is curious to know what I'm planning to do with my two "cute" mushrooms. I tell him, "I put them in salad." He agrees this is a great idea! Just the confirmation I needed. "Stan" is efficient with the register, he knows how to do everything, however he's not sure of any of the fruit/veggie codes and doesn't seem to be too fond of looking them up. The lady the next register over is nice to give "Stan" the codes. I had about 6 items with codes and this probably tied me up for 10 minutes alone. To be clear, it doesn't bother me that he doesn't know the codes, afterall it is his first day.

When the syrup skates across his scanner he drops it in the bag, looks me in the eye and asks, "How do you make waffles?" I'm a bit taken aback, but I tell him how I do it. "Buy a box of Bisquick or Hungry Jack Pancake mix and look for the recipe on the back. Eggs, oil, milk and you're ready to go."

This isn't good enough. Excited with his new waffle maker (he told me so!) he wants to know if he should add nuts to his waffles. Maybe almonds he asks? Tired, frustrated, but trying to be polite (and trying to make peace with the whole vacuum scandal) I exclaim honestly, "I. do. not. do. nuts. I don't like them in my waffles. I'm not sure how to put nuts in waffles." I start to wonder if I'm on candid camera and if my face will be plastered on TV exclaiming, "I DO NOT DO NUTS." I "recover" by saying "I don't do blueberries in my waffles either" as if that might help my case. I just wanted to be clear that I eat my waffles plain and could not offer assistance with adding other items to the batter. Luckily, no cameras. But "Stan" agrees, maybe he should keep it simple his first time and just stick with plain waffles.

I notice the scanner is charging me too much for my Healthy Choice microwave meals. They are supposed to be on sale. I'm ticked, but I can't possibly bring this up with "Stan." I chalk it up to karma and try not to think about the money. My conversation with "Stan" is over and there are now 3 people behind me looking tired and frustrated and thumbing through People magazine. We got to skip the discussion about single servings of food or about the yogurt flavors I chose like he did with the guy in front of me.

As I carry my stuff out to the car, I suddenly realize just how lucky I was. Thankfully I didn't have any feminine hygiene items or other things no one wants to discuss in my cart. I'm not sure I could have handled those questions. But, I can see it now.... "Do you prefer paper or plastic?"