Manners 101

In the world of manner usage, we all fall on the scale somewhere. I like to think I’m right in the middle. I try to be conscious of my behavior, but not so meticulous I don’t have any fun or feel completely out of place.

I don’t consider myself to be overly pretentious and let’s face it, I’m not completely sure why it is necessary to use a different fork for my salad than I do for my dinner. And is it acceptable to put the very cheap paper napkins on the table when I actually set out three forks, a spoon, a knife, a wine glass and a water glass?

After this past weekend I feel it is very important to share the following unacceptable behaviors so I never see you do this. Actually for those of us that are friends and family, some of these wouldn’t bother me, but in a large buffet of strangers……ewww gross! The following list is inspired by the past week.

The Bad Manners List (please be sure to add any goodies you have!)

1. If you put too much food on your plate (and we often do), DO NOT dump it back in the serving dish. DO learn from your mistake and DO NOT take as much next time.

2. If you dump the extra food (say tuna fish) back into the serving dish and some of it plops on the table, DO NOT scoop it from the table back into the serving bowl. The first two rules apply especially if you are dressed like an “older” gypsy.

3. It is totally acceptable to grab a bagel with the provided tongs and grab half of the bagel with your fingers, if you only want half. It is acceptable to get in a tug of war with the bagel by pulling on it with your hand on one side and the tongs on the other. It is NOT acceptable to put the half you touched (and mangled in the tug of war) back into the bagel pool and take the fresh ‘tonged’ half for yourself. In fact that is just downright stupid.

4. If the above mentioned bagel folly happens, and your significant other gasps in disbelief, DO NOT gently touch her back as a reminder to be quiet since the good manners we practice at home don’t seem to apply to everyone.

5. The iPOD generation is growing, I get that. Music is totally mobile nowadays, just like our phone conversations. Listening to others phone conversations is undeniably annoying, but not as much as hearing someone’s iPOD in the seat next to you. Are the headphones just really bad quality or do people really listen to the music so loud that I have to listen too. There is only so far I can move away on an airplane.

6. If you want to spit tobacco on an airplane next to me or in a meeting, that is fine, but please do understand it is distracting and somewhat gross.

7. Have you ever noticed the thick white lines near stoplights? Sometimes you will find a thick white line by the light and another several feet back. You will usually see this situation when another road or entrance crosses this intersection. DO NOT block the entrance (usually between the two thick white lines) of the perpendicular road.